Prior to the retreat I kept anticipating how my first weekend retreat would turn out. Things like ‘Oh no, would Reverend with one glance be able to tell that I haven’t meditated for a while now, despite me last few days of cramping meditation before I went to work? When we arrived at the retreat, Venerable made a point to us, to ‘put down’ the past and future, and so my goal steered back to my eagerness to open myself up to new learning at this retreat and also with the hope to be corrected. Whatever it is, ‘Bring it on!’ was my attitude and major leg cramps throughout the whole last night it brought me. I think it was the ending prostration meditation that had done it.
On a more serious night, as usual, a lot of what Reverend has said to us made me think deeply. The most engaging one was when Reverend taught us what the clasping of the hand meant although I only remember a few of the ten things that our fingers represented, I took it as meaning, ‘Everything in its entirety.’ That all of them are manifestations of the mind and that the nature of the mind is ‘empty, impermanent’.
During meditation, instead of the usual shattered thoughts, I found myself wondering about what Reverend Guo Jun has said. I even wake up thinking Reverend’s word, so thank you Reverend for illuminating my mind with the wisdom and compassion that you have given to all of us.
(Name Withheld)
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Dear Len,
Since you’re in England, I’ll tell you how I have been. Today is my last day at a Buddhist Retreat. To cut the long story short, I’ll tell you what I’ve learnt; that life is shit. Well that’s what the Reverend said. What, hold it! I know you’re Christian and probably wondering what cult I’ve entered BUT that’s not the case. Patience! We feel so many negative emotions day to day and we think that it’s NOT meant to be like that. We create our own ideas; that we’re supposed to live happily ever after and so we forget that those negative emotions are in fact reality. So next time you fel like strangling me because something happened, remember: this is reality! That’s what makes life so interesting.
Well anyway, let me describe more about the retreat… Place: a hole. Atmosphere: dead silence. Food: Utterly vegetarian. So to sum it up, this isn’t a place you’d like a lot. However, even if you wanted to complain, you wouldn’t be able to: noble silence. Even so, there are many things I’ve learnt after having sat for eight sessions of forty minute meditation where we sit and face the wall… sitting, sitting and sitting. You’re probably screaming, ‘WHAT?!’ But, it’s true. I realised that I think a lot. Yes, I do have brains, excuse me!! You know how we call it a train of thought? Well it just never stops. It continues going on and on. So what I’m trying to do is slow down the train so that it stops at stations. Except I think I caught the express yesterday. Anyhow, I did mange to stop at a few places several times today and for those few seconds, it was quiet, serene if you like. However, my knees need replacement, or at least oiling in the joints.
Just out of the blue, did you know that kangaroos like studying humans too?
Here’s something useful to you and me that I learnt just before I sign off. Whenever there’s shit, accept that it’s there and step over it – or on it if you really liked.
(Jess)
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It’s lovely to be here again (even though it’s only the second time, it feels a bit like home) with the DDM family. It’s great to have the opportunity to be here.
In this retreat, a little more about myself, I learnt. I see the momentum and power of my habits. Like Reverend Guo Jun said, to come to a retreat to do things that one doesn’t do in daily life can be very difficult. I come here to rest my mind and body. Mathematically, it should work because all the social responsibilities and chores have been taken away, but the product is just not that. The mind is like a merry-go-round, which operates day and night. The answer is simple; often I wake up from my sleep or nap not remembering that I’m here in Wingello. I haven’t built that enough in my daily life. I can’t count the times I make the determination to do formal practice in my daily life, but I will still do that again, ‘til it happens, hopefully not in the next life.
I asked Reverend Guo Jun about dealing with others’ suffering. And then I related that to the way I shift when there is pain in my body. I realise that all this, while all I wanted or would like to see was for everything to be the way I’d like them to be. In other words: perfectionism.
(Shirley Wong)
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This is my third retreat with Venerable Guo Jun. For Me, I feel that Venerable Guo Jun becomes wiser and wiser. Somehow, for myself, I found that I seem to be asking the same things/questions as compared to the last two retreats. It shows how lazy I am after the retreats. I would like to thank Venerable Guo Jun for being so compassionate even though I am lazy and have not worked hard to improve myself after the retreats.
For this retreat, one word that struck me so much is ‘relax’. I have tried ‘to relax’ after the advice given by Venerable Guo Jun for one of the meditation sessions. Miraculously, it worked. I felt much more relaxed and have felt less pain. Although after sitting, pain is still my dear old friend and visits me very often. The lesson I learnt is that one should face and accept our pain during meditation.
I once again thank you Venerable Guo Jun, Agnes, Diana and others who have worked so much for this retreat.
(Ricky Choi)
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• Today is a beautiful day, I have managed to let go of my world for two days, or to be more accurate, put aside the external influences that distort my thinking and alter my perception and relax in the process.
• Relax is an interesting word, its simple meaning is the mind is at peace. Lots of people go on holidays to ‘relax’ but many in this day and age also bring their blackberries with them. These people end up paying thousands of dollars for an unrelaxing holiday.
I guess the real meaning behind the mastercard ad in relaxation is priceless, it can’t be bought suckers! Relaxation is found when one is not affected by one’s problems. When one accepts the problems they have and find impermance in the problems’ existence, one doesn’t grasp onto the problem or any negativity that is associated with it.
• One’s path is never clear. I found this as a problem because I grew up with my first twenty years pretty much planned out for me. To not know how to move forward has been an issue that has disturbed me. Lots of my peers are like that, they call it the ‘quarter life’ crisis. Not simply wanting to have kids, get married, a career, grow old and die but not quite sure what else to aim for.
• I am now relaxed because being lost is natural, the unknown is adventurous, fortunetellers are no fun.
(Ken)
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The experience of ‘count the breath’ has eluded me since I first learnt how to meditate because I could not feel my breath! The more I tried to feel it, the more it eluded me. This became a source of great vexation during past retreats and in my daily practice. In this retreat, I realised grasping merely creates tension, and not the relaxation you have, many a time told us to ‘be’. In this retreat, I have actually felt my breath and been able to count it, through telling myself to let go and relax.
This physical pain during meditation is something I’m still struggling to accept. The idea of acceptance of pain and embracing it, dissolving it will be something I will work on. It’s a small step towards the acceptance of non-physical pain.
(Diana)
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It took me a long time to make up my mind to join this retreat; fortunately, I decided to attend it at the last moment. This retreat has been so beneficial. It not only helped me find out some of the answers I have been struggling so long to come up with, it also gave me strength and courage to carry on with the practice on this path, and more importantly, to have the courage to look into the self, to accept imperfection in own self, and accept imperfection in others. Thus, generate genuine care for others. I had so many ‘shits’ in my own thoughts, it is not easy to face them truthfully and that causes sufferings to others as well. Thanks so much, Venerable Guo Jun, you have given me so many fresh insights in Dharma talk, although to apply these into real life is not easy, but I will try, keep trying, even with lots of failures.
I remember the Buddha has tried so hard to awaken us many times in Surangama Sutra. I have been so pitiful; never know whom the true self is, mistake suffering as happiness. But I am so fortunate to learn the Dharma in this life; wish there is no regression on this path.
(Name Withheld)
