I was very eager for the retreat to start on the first day.
I couldn't wait for the quiet environment. No Shouting, No TV, No slamming doors and time to reflect. This was going to be my get away for the weekend for myself. After the third sitting, my back hurt, my legs ached and were numb. My mind was like the kangaroo droppings - scattered everywhere.
Inside my mind was as dangerous as the grass outside. Then I asked myself - why am I here? 3-days is rather pointless because I wouldn't be able to sit for long enough, whereas a full 7 days would give me plenty of time to relax and hopefully sit well to some extent. If I didn't come to this 3-day retreat then I wouldn't have to rush back for my friend's engagement party which starts at 6pm tonight.
After more scattered thoughts, I told myself I am here because I wouldn't be able to find time exclusively to relax! The pain is really an illusion conjured by the mind. Pain is neither good nor bad, it's simply because we always thought that pain is bad and so we as the Venerable has said, try to repel it. If there are no problems, then there's no need for practice. How true. As the saying goes; no pain, no gain. If only we headed it.
I was frozen this morning as we did the 8-Form moving meditation outside. My hands were stiff, wind was blowing down my sleeves and I was close up to kangaroo droppings as we held the balls of air in our hands and bent down to the ground. My awareness came and left with the wind, I was too busy listening to the crinkling sound of the trees. Next time, I'm bringing gloves, a long jacket and old shoes to the retreat.
I was reminded of impermanence several times during the retreat. I was vacuuming the hall on the first day. There were many little creatures in the corners and window frames of the room. Quite a number were dead, but I'm sorry if I vacuumed you in when although you were living. I hope you managed to get out of the dust bag.
Yesterday, I was reminded of it again. We were doing walking meditation and suddenly a fly flew right into the back of my head. It crashed, but I thought it had survived until Grace took it out of my hair afterwards. Little fly, I hope you're re-born as something else next time. May be something without wings - as maybe you're not going to make a great pilot.
Life is so impermanent.
Everything is impermanent, only we don't realize it. Although I do realize that my full stomach from the morning is impermanent - that's why it's been growling throughout the letter writing.
Jessica
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1) I like the many intricate steps to get to a calm state
2) Have learned to refrain from talking for a long time
3) Observed many aspects of old Chinese culture
4) Appreciate your teaching and congratulate you for the good work
5) Grateful that I am part of this retreat
6) Learned some good habits of thrift, tidiness and punctuality
7) Believed that I have progressed in my meditation
8) I enjoy healthy food
9) Learned to simplify needs in life
10) Peaceful surrounding and comfortable accommodation
11) Hope someday I may be able to join a similar retreat here again
12) Benefited from this retreat
Anonymous
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Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude for the opportunity to participate in this retreat; albeit for only 3 days. Thank you to the teacher and the volunteers for accommodating to my medical condition.
I came into the retreat after a few quite busy weeks at work, preceded by a tiring overseas trip, and having not had enough sleep for maybe a month. I am grateful that the main theme was rest and relaxation =). On the other hand, although I have been meditating (daily for a short period of time, dependent on how busy the working day is), I have been misguided by judging my meditation depending on how calm I feel afterwards. Such that in the last month or so, with the change in schedule, increase in workload and various symptoms of diabetes (before the diagnosis), when such calm became rare, I started wondering what good is my practice if it is just to attain a degree of calmness that is itself impermanent. This surely is not what I am looking for.
I also realize how easy it is to justify following (what I realize now to be) my selfish desires by extracting certain aspects of the teachings and impose it on unwilling others. All the occurrence in the past few weeks, as well as the retreat, has given me a chance to reflect on myself.
Thank you for the constant reminder of 'being in the present moment!' This is not the first time I have heard of this but it just makes me realize how this can and should be applied at so many different levels. It is so that when I am not mindful, I do not know that I am not being mindful.
I also come to admitting my limits at present. Although the intention may be good (from my own point of view), I very often lack the insight and wisdom to bring about benefits to others. So I need to practice more and always reflect and examine my practice and myself.
May be the good seeds sown in the hearts of all participants at this retreat bloom into beautiful flowers of wisdom as we continue to cultivate in our daily lives; and may the rest of the retreat go on smoothly.
Once again, I would like to express utmost gratitude to the teacher and the organizers and for causes and conditions that have enabled me to come here.
Anonymous
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I first came to know about this retreat from friends when they told me about the Buddhist Group at Chatswood. I was there that I have learned a bit of the meditation exercise, conducted by Guo Jun Fashi. I registered for the 3-day retreat.
As soon as I arrived here, the place really impressed me and I knew this to be a good place to do a retreat. Quiet and peaceful.
The first day was a day I will not forget, as soon as we arrived at Wingello we drove through the partly red earth road and as we were driving along we were wondering where is NO. 197. Finally we came to it. Saw the number 197 on a tree trunk and followed. As we went along there was a house painted yellow but with no number. So drove past it and ended up at a no through road. We reversed our car back and I said this yellow house must be it, because I can tell from the way it is kept, that it belongs to Chinese. Moreover it is painted 'yellow'; we waited for the rest to arrive.
Day 1 of the retreat:
Started in the evening. The first part of the day was helping each other to settle down. We had our dinner at 5pm. Then in the evening Venerable Guo Jun gave the participants orientation at the shrine. We did a short meditation and went to bed for our early morning rise at 6am. Bedtime is 10pm.
Day 2:
We got up by 5:30am and proceed to the shrine for meditation, then followed by morning exercise by Venerable. After breakfast we did our chores and rest. Then we had our morning service chanting followed by meditation. Lunch followed and then after rest, meditation and afternoon exercise. Dinner followed by afternoon service. In the evening: meditation, Dharma talk and lastly meditation.
Day 3:
Routine as usual. I have learned a lot from this retreat; even if it is only for 3 days. Learned different ways of meditation. I like to find out which is an easier and relaxing way to practice. I have been doing meditation for some years and have been for long retreats. Each retreat benefits me in different ways.
Thank you and Sadhu to Venerable Gun Jun and may he have a happy and healthy life.
Anonymous
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On the first day, we arrived at around 3pm.
There, we socialized with other fellow participants, getting to know each other's various backgrounds and also their experiences with other Buddhist retreats. Dinner started formally at 5pm, it was a delicious meal of baked pasta in a cream sauce with mixed vegetables. Noble silence accompanied the start of dinner and this formally marked the start of the retreat.
We were instructed to chew our food in a measured and 'aware' fashion, as eating was a form of meditation as well. After the meal, we were instructed to clean our cutlery and plates by pouring hot water in the bowl for example, then using our spoon to clean the walls of the bowl before consuming the brew. The purpose of this ostensibly was to minimize food wastage and as a courtesy to the designated dishwashing team that had to wash the dishes after, as the utensils and eating ware should be relatively clean after this. After dinner, we proceeded to our first meditation session in the main hall. There, Fashi taught us the 'body scan' method of sitting, where mediators would shift awareness along the following body parts: Mind, eyes, nose mouth, facial muscles, cheek, shoulders, upper arm, lower arm, palms, fingers, chest, abdomen, upper back, middle back, lower back, waist, thighs, calves, feet, toes, and entire body and then whole body and mind.
Later in the retreat, Fashi would explain that this initial method of getting the body to relax was important before even contemplating practice in Samadhi or calm abiding meditation. Fashi explained the analysis of sharpening ones axe of blade before undertaking any cutting task. If the body and mind is accustomed to being in a relaxed state of mind, then awareness comes naturally: you do not have to seek it.
Invariably, even at the first sitting, one felt one's legs aching after a little more than 20-30 minutes into the sitting. One's first and instinctive reaction was to feel pain and certain repulsion and desire to end ones sitting. Yet, due to both the requirements of etiquette and also my desire to persist in my sitting at this retreat, my focus turned to examining the nature of pain. I tried to examine wherein forth it originated from, its physiological effects and its cognitive repercussions. I made the conscious decision to accept the pain and not fight the decision to shift posture or end my sitting. Before I knew it then, Fashi had rung the bell signifying the end of the sitting session.
Coincidentally, Fashi would in response to a question by a participant, instruct us that Chan practice is about acceptance, not resistance. He would say: 'the reason for pain being unbearable is the resistance to pain.' The more we try to fight the pain, the more unbearable it becomes. If we accept it, if we do not fight it, then it becomes bearable, we may even forget it was there in the first place. Analogously, this attitude of acceptance and patience towards both oneself and others and whatever that may happen to us is applicable to daily life. We cannot control what happens to us, but Chan teaches that we can control how we respond, and more importantly how we should respond.
After the first sitting, Fashi then gave this first Dharma talk of the retreat. He explained further in relation to the timing and pace of the body scan. We then retried for the night, sleeping at 10pm for an early am start.
Anonymous
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Not realizing how mentally and physically tired my mind and body was, the first day of the retreat was filled with frustration and desperation.
Frustration because I kept dozing off and I was surprised how quickly I wanted to nap at every break. Desperation because I kept thinking I must be missing out on things - why wasn't anybody else feeling this way?
Not being a regular meditator - the pain sometimes became unbearable and you almost 'dread' it when asked to begin meditation sessions, when scanning I would get to the neck and then my thoughts would go wondering!
However, the second day almost seemed like a new beginning particularly as the day progressed.
Suddenly I didn't feel so tired anymore
- the muscles weren't screaming in pain
- the 30-40 min seemed to go by much quicker
- the walking and eating meditation helped me to focus
Fashi's Dharma talk in the night made so much sense - what was the desperation and rush? Relax and rest in the present moment - listening and understanding that theoretically is so very different to living and breathing it in daily practice. His method showed us the practical side of things.
3rd day - this morning's explanation of where it was all leading to - how slow progressive steps was all leading the way to mindfulness of the breath - a break through moment for me. I don't feel 'useless' or 'worthless' that I couldn't do concentration on the breath before. I realize now that I had been going about it the wrong way. I realized:
- that I shouldn't feel so desperate and frustrated 'it's okay and no big deal'
- it gives me the motivation now to practice and if I stumble - it's okay - I have a starting point to go back to - body scanning - and move from there again
- it gives me hope that with continued perseverance and effort, I will move forward.
My deepest gratitude to Fashi for his guidance and mentoring of what seems like such simple things that he asked us to do but which all have such significance and meaning. I go back with a 'memory imprint' of Fashi smiling and saying 'relax and rest your mind in the present moment'. Thank you so much! Thank you for simplifying things for me.
Sujata
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The first day when I arrived, with three of the other participants, it was raining. We are less concerned about the forthcoming days, at least for me, because I learned beforehand that the next couple of days would be sunny. The brief meditation I had for the first night was good.
The second day was overall quite all right except I could barely sleep the previous night because the sleeping area was crowded and I was extremely tired. I liked the walking meditation because I found it pretty relaxing apart from some irritation caused by flies and other flying insects. Also, I liked the moving exercises outdoor. I always like fresh air and I walk regularly 5 times in a week. The sitting meditation in the second day morning was all right because when the leg pain came I changed my mind set that I could stand it so after moving some of my toes (left leg), the pain gradually disappeared to the extent that I did not feel it. It appeared it was totally gone. My positive mind setting did work. However, I had scattered thoughts coming in and I tried to do that body scan briefly but it did not work.
In addition, I was very sleepy and wanted very much to hear the bell ringing from Fashi. It wasn't that bad after all. However, especially in the evening meditation session, with sore legs, I found it hard to bear the leg pain. I could not possibly use the positive mindset that I had in the morning to ease the pain and I had negative feelings instead like questioning why I came here to suffer all this leg pain and discomfort. The leg-pain became more painful. In fact, my two legs hurt so much that if we were allowed to leave at our option, I would definitely walk away.
After some inner struggles, my mind seemed to be better because I told myself to be more disciplined and I was here to learn (practice) not to escape. My pain in the legs seemed to better and my only thought at that instant was Fashi, please, please, ring the bell. After a while, I heard the bell ring, I felt relieved because I could ease all the leg pain by massaging.
To sum up, I felt this short retreat was quite a big experience for me. As I have never ever been camping before and now I had to sleep with so many other participants and on a hard surface (although I already had laid my newly bought mattress). After the talk from Fashi last night my interest in meditation has been re-kindled. What he said was we felt the pain but we are lucky to be in human form to be able to practice meditation while the other forms (animals/insects) are unable to practice and all they struggle in their lives are just seeking for food. I need to be more disciplined to set time each day for meditation.
Winnie Wong
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I have wanted to meditate 'properly' and 'regularly' after attending the MITRA conference but never got around to it due to several excuses. When I found out about this retreat I was excited, as I've heard many good things about Fashi. But I didn't really know what I was in for as I haven't been to an intensive retreat before.
Fashi's explanation of the method was very clear and there's a constant reminder to come back to the breath. Sound so simple but very difficult to actually practice.
The first few days I was very tired and my legs were very painful. My mind was constantly thinking or at the other extreme of blankness and I just wanted to go to sleep. Even up to today I still experience the soreness and drowsiness though is slightly more bearable.
I guess for me over the past few days, it's very clear that my mind needs work and there are a lot of work issues that I need to deal with. What I'll take away is that I have to keep persevering and bringing my attention back to the breath and what Fashi said about being open and accepting myself also rings true. That I've to be patient as I've noticed that similar thoughts keep resurfacing most likely because I don't want them to. Many things buried over the years.
This retreat has definitely made my intent stronger to want to continue practicing and digging although maybe not on such an intensive schedule.
Seok Kwan
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I am very happy that I did this retreat because I think it has been the most useful week I have had all year. Even though I have only taken baby steps, I feel I have spent my time doing something that really matters. Though it is a fraction of my life, (even though I have not 'achieved' much) at least when I die I'll know I spent some time trying, and it wasn't all devoted to things, that when that time comes, won't seem to matter.
I have learnt to be more patient with myself, and not get so discouraged, frustrated and demoralized when I have so many 'bad' meditations, full of scattered thoughts, pain and drowsiness. It is heartening to realizing that these sits are also worthwhile, and are still 'counted' as practice. I think that this one of the reasons (laziness being the principle one) that my practice in my day to day life hardly ever happens.
I'm at University 8am-5pm, 7 days a week (next year a few 7.30 starts) and after doing the endless pile of work I don't want to feel demoralized by 20 minutes of seemingly 'useless' practice. But having learnt that this really is part of the practice, I will be giving it a go.
Part of me, when I have left the few retreats I have done in the past, is always scared that I'll leave and after a couple of weeks my practice will wither into nothing. This time though, I won't be as put off meditating by the mere anticipation of a shocker meditation, feel like I'm wasting time and that I can't do it anyway.
The structure of this retreat has been very good for me because I am quite a lazy person. On previous retreats (and I'm not judging them, simply saying what I have done) I did maybe ¼ of the practice, because left to my own devices I wondered around the place and slept. Even thought it wasn't me instigating it, I now have a taste of what it is like to really stick at the practice. Sometimes, I felt incredibly drowsy, and before, I would think 'this is hopeless, no point doing any more for today', but then the next sit I would be wide-awake, with renewed energy. I never realized how different I could be from one moment to the next. Just as an aside, when I am doing walking meditation on my own, not as a group, a song will always come into my head that is the same tempo as my walking pace. No matter how slow or fast, there's a piece of music for everything!
I am going to Bodhgaya in India in a couple of weeks and I think this retreat will help me to get a lot more out of that trip. I feel incredibly lucky to have taken part, and I know that I must have somehow accumulated 3000 tones of merits, to be able to learn from an experienced teacher and to be looked after by such generous volunteers. Even though there were a few times I just really wanted to go home.
So I don't want to waste it and let it slide away. I am going to try my best to keep at it, even when it's all going lousy, and remember what the teacher said about the amount of suffering in the world. I think that's what happens when I'm lazy, I forget the suffering in the world. I am going to do my best to remember.
Karina
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Warning against Joining a Meditation Retreat!
Anyone considering a meditation retreat should think twice. A meditation retreat is not for anyone wanting a holiday on the beach or duty free shopping. There are no duty free shops at meditation retreats because what you get at the retreat, money can't buy. Also the holiday fanatics will find that there just isn't much excitement at all. In fact, a meditation retreat is the opposite of a fun packed holiday. A meditation retreat is for those who suspect that the genuine path to a comfortable and fulfilling life is a path of reflection and disciplined effort. Don't get me wrong, a meditation retreat can actually have some real advantages over a holiday, for example the food is healthier and tastier. But the really significant benefit of a meditation retreat is that you can gain more calmness, tranquility, less stress, spiritual upliftment and possibly more meaning to life. Once you go on a meditation retreat, there is no turning back, you just have to keep going forward, ultimately to change your life for the better. And to top it all, I have never met a tour guide who can compare with a Chan Master especially a funny one with a big smile.
Brian
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Dear Fashi,
There is so much learning in this retreat.
There were many things I thought I had known, but I just realized I hadn't.
Mindfulness is one of them. These years of practicing mindfulness I realized I have been running a series of commentaries or instructions on being mindful and how to be mindful as instructed by teachers. I have been trying to be present in every moment, but just in this retreat I get to understand a bit of it. Thank you for the many words and methods that have helped me practice it. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't when conditions change. It is as interesting experiment with relaxing and being mindful.
Relaxing has helped me eat better. From a young age, for me eating has been a big problem. I'd look at the pile of food, which is supposed to end up in my tummy in the same period of time as other kids do. But I never fail to still be sitting there after all dishes were washed, and everyone playing, and me staring at the other half pile of my food. And even up till now, in every retreat, I'd still do the same and keep saying 'try again to be faster next meal'. I'd try different methods of relaxation, ways of chewing. Then in the last meal today, I realized I was only trying to eat faster and have not been staying in the moment. I tried it again and found the food to be really tasty. I'm sure this is related to the knot in my stomach that I experience all the time, trying to rush and think ahead while doing something.
Fashi, thank you for the golden words on the attitude of practice last night: to practice harmlessness, to cultivate good qualities in ourselves as well as to benefit ourselves and others. I opened up my own garbage bin and got freaked out by the road. Thank you for reviving me and given me the courage to walk on and make use of the rubbish inside. It is environmentally friendly too.
May I also take this opportunity to thank all our volunteers for their time and labour of love.
Shirley
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The things that were covered in the retreat are really what a person needs to practice in meditation, the meditation, the preparation beforehand and afterwards treatment, and also the moving meditation. We should now be equipped with the skills to practice. It is a complete methodology.
The talks were very interesting and enabled us to get to the point. We might already know or come across some of it and the talks affirm some of the teachings.
Like the smiling. I made this up to my kids - you feel happy then you will smile, a simple logic you can do, like fooling the system by making a smile than you should feel happy.
Do smile when you are enjoying something or unhappy! It is good to both you and others.
Thank you Fashi.
Felix Chan
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So, I bawled my eyes out last time. Will I do it again?
This is the first time I've volunteered at a retreat and I thought I'd be spared from writing. Volunteering meant Aunty Ting and Joyce can teach me new recipes. It also means I'm allowed to come and do some sitting at all since I arrived late and I was quite thankful Fashi let me come anyway to help out. Wondering/ scattered thoughts!K
I am so scattered! Usually I don't notice this, but every time I heard water drops or running water, my mind kept wondering if I was hearing it in different situation what I'd feel - if I was showering and the water died, if I left the tap dripping, watering plants, rain!K. but this something I just do with everything, not just water sounds. And I go along with it!K. Sometimes all day! Mindfulness!K hm !K (there went 5min!K)
Need to sit more.
When Fashi asked us to recite the four vows before dinner quietly, I thought I'd be okay - we've been chanting it so so often, so !K I vowed to deliver innumerable sentient beings!K and I went blank. There was something about cutting off something but the words didn't come. So after a while of trying to remember but couldn't, I now know another thing I need to do. Remember my vows!
Abbey
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There are so many special moments at this retreat.
- One that I vividly remember was when I first read the evening admonition at close of day. I was inspired by a sense of urgency to practice. Especially having a cold I feel like the fish grasping for breath!) The words affected me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. So many suffering beings and yet I continue to sleep. It is time to wake up and practice.
- Reciting the Heart Sutra also resonated with me. As I meditated more, the Heart Sutra became clearer. It is indeed a powerful sutra.
- The other special moment for me is when I recite the 4 great vows. I feel humbled and overwhelmed at the same time. I think of all the sentient beings trapped in samsara and not as fortunate as you and I to have this time and place and Fashi to guide us with his wisdom and compassion. I want to thank Fashi for his great patience. I feel so lucky to be here with so many good-hearted people, from the helpers to the participants. When I say the 4 great vows the words resonate in my being. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. Yet I wonder if I am a fraud because I don't think I have the courage to fulfill them. Then I remember, it is the honest intention that matters - No matter how long the journey, no matter how long it takes. It all begins with the first step. My gratitude to Fashi and the helpers. May we all be blessed guided and protected by the Triple Gem on our journey.
Punna
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First, I would like to thank the Sydneysiders for acceptance of us from Melbourne!
My deepest and most sincere appreciation to everyone who has made this retreat possible; Agnes and Joyce for organizing, Paul for giving us a lift, the volunteers who feed us so well with delicious food everyday like clockwork (literally)! Last but not the least, Fashi for leading this insightful retreat. Also, most importantly, not forgetting everyone who attended, without whom there would be no retreat, and the friendliness.
This is my first intensive 7-Day retreat. Every time I register to go to meditation retreat, I seem to have forgotten the excruciating painful experience of the last one (which is a good thing, otherwise I won't be attending this one). With no exception, the excruciating pain did come on the second day, I felt like screaming inside. Relaxing it did not help. Tensing it did not help. I felt almost helpless. It was only the third day that I truly was using Fashi's cyclic body scan (sorry, previous days practice was too scattered to be even called 'practice') The excruciating pain that I felt, on closer 'scanning' was not pain at all! To my surprise, I still can't name it except to call it 'irritation'. Due to the lower body resistance to relax. Most likely due to chronic lower back pain and years of tense up muscles simply refusing to relax. It even goes into spasm on being 'instructed' to relax. Old habits die hard. So I am still working to relax those tense muscles - unbelievably hard to relax them - have to do it very subtly.
I like the smiling technique that Fashi teach. Catch myself forgetting about it all the time.
I had a glimpse of one of our retreatants wearing this smile, it 'turns' her into a little girl! I think that's a sweet thing - the innocence of a child it does make you look younger. So, after these few intensive days, has anything changed in me? I glaze into the trees and clouds every time after dinner - this may sound cliché - but the trees do look greener and the cloud clearer - a three-dimensional look that I have not seen for some time.
Shin
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Last time I went to Venerable's retreat was years ago. For the past few months, I have been focusing on practicing another Mahayana tradition. My life has changed dramatically in these few months. I want to use my new life to experience Chan. Two vows or ten vows, everyone can vow, but who can achieve it? It took me ages to understand and I am still studying it, very hard and very deep vows. I hope one day I can really make these honest vows.
I cannot even save myself, how can I save others?
I am full of bad things, accumulated from many many lives. Very hard vows. I cannot even save my mum from craving. I used to hate flies, but in walking meditation I hope they can be saved from suffering and learn Buddhadharma. I witness three dead insects in the Chan hall, the flies were struggling. I hope Amitabha can save them.
I was surprised with the food, now I have a bigger tummy. In the vow before eating, I say 'I take this food not for indulgence'. To be honest, I still have indulgence in food, but I have vowed to spread Dharma as much as I can. The probability of being a human and learning Dharma, I guess, is less than 1%. I created so much trouble to the volunteers because of my special diet.
Many thanks to them.
They teach me generosity.
If they accept my prostration, that would be good.
Smile and relax. My mindfulness is very weak.
Ben
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When we first started planning the retreat, we asked Fashi what is the theme of the retreat? As we want to make it more interesting and attractive. His answer was 'no need', my retreats are simple, just call it '3 & 7-Day Retreat'. After all these days, we all know what the theme of this retreat is, right? 'Relax, rest and smile'.
When Fashi started the retreat, he warned us not to have any expectations. But in his teachings, he also mentioned that we have to be honest. So for the promotion of our next retreat I think that if by being honest, we will tell the people that they can expect 'excruciating' pain in the legs and body and if they still dare coming to our retreats, they will all go home very satisfied customers, as this expectation will definitely be met! 100% guaranteed!
I certainly came to this retreat with the expectation of leg pains, of course the shoulder pains became a bonus!
This is my third 7-day retreat. In my first retreat the leg pain was excruciating, I felt like big thick black needles driving into my legs. However, to my surprise I was able to manage the pain by following the guided instructions. In my second retreat, the leg pains came and paid a visit without fail, and I was not able to sit still, I kept changing my sitting posture. However, in terms of sensations, I knew that it was not as painful as the previous occasion. In the midst of it all, I came to understand that I lacked the determination to face leg pains head on. To me, it is a reflection of how I conducted myself in life then.
In this retreat, I came prepared with Shifu's teaching 'face it, accept it, deal with it and let it go'. I want to experiment with 'mind over matter'. With Fashi's constant reminder of 'relax, rest and smile' the leg pain were more manageable because I have accepted that there will be leg pains and I want to deal with it. So I am quite certain it is all in the mind. Coming out of this retreat, I feel that I now have more courage to face and deal with various matters in life.
Just now over dinner, Fashi told us to make our own contemplation before the meal. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and how lacking my own practice was. I started eating meditation and half way through my meal, my teeth sank into this one grain of seed and all of a sudden I felt this sense of 'interconnectedness'.
Personally, I find that retreats give me a lot of courage and support to re-generate and repeat my vows; vows that I have yet to fulfill. I am exceptionally grateful to Fashi, our volunteers and all the retreatants for making this retreat possible.
Thank you all for coming into my life and my path of practice.
Agnes
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I came to this retreat with not much expectation from myself, as I was thinking that I'm just going to be a volunteer assisting Ting with cooking.
Little did I expect that I will generate an even deeper sense of responsibility, that I must work much harder in transforming myself in three aspect in particular; patience, understanding and compassion.
Something else that I got out of this retreat unexpectedly is an understanding more clearly that everyone is an individual, unique in their own way. Where even though we share the same space, yet we are all so different! What intrigues me is seeing each person experiencing their own world in their own way. Each world is very much different from another, but all the different worlds are experienced with such realness.
Seeing Fashi's skills and dedication during this retreat, I do not want to say this because it is so over used, but to me he is the perfect example of compassion and wisdom working harmoniously together. It is from this feeling that I saw myself much more clearly and that is, I realized that I still have a lot of work to do because all I can see in myself are holes and lots of it.
Joyce
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Laugher after retreat
sounds wholesome;
like
Ting's dinner bell.
My ma
in a summer dress;
sitting on the earth,
Smiling.
Anonymous
